I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
