Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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