Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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