bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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