I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
