Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
