id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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