shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
