Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
