we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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