Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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