Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
