why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
