The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
