Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
