I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
