What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
