he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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