THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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