I want to have your abortion
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
