lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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