come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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