I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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