I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
