Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize