Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
