she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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