U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is my gift to your gina
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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