Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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