Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
