I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize