My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
