Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
