planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
