love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
