guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
