no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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