I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
