Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
