Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
