Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
