is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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