ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize