yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love you. Go after that dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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