We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize