Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
