I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
