I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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