She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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