every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
