But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
