please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
