no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
