Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize