i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
