OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
