My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
